Blog Articles
- Anxiety (3)
- Communication (6)
- Considering Counselling (6)
- Self Control (3)
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Understand Your Triggers
Triggers happen when some small event sets off something bigger that is already locked and loaded. The big reaction is ready to go and the little event that sets it off is not the real issue. It’s just the “trigger.” How Triggers Work. How to Escape the Pattern The easier way: When you have a…
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How to Listen to Your Partner
“You are not listening to me,” she says. “But I am listening,” you reply. Here is how to turn this moment from disaster into success. This is “Active” Listening You might think that listening doesn’t solve anything. The research says it does. John Gottman found that couples who listen to each other, or better yet,…
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Why Try Counselling?
You should be careful or even skeptical about going for counselling. It’s a big step that costs money, takes time and asks you to be honest with yourself. What are the upsides? Some of these reasons for counselling might not apply to you, but maybe one of them fits your situation. 1. Possibility of Huge…
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How to Stop an Argument
When you get into an argument and hear yourself saying things you know shouldn’t be said. This strategy can help take a step or two closer to normal conversation. When Your Brain Is Overloaded In the heat of the moment, you might feel angry, or overwhelmed, or desperate or the need to run. It’s not…
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What Happens in Counselling?
Confidentialty Whatever you say to me is private information and I don’t tell anyone else what I know about you. I can lose my license if I violate your privacy. I also know that counselling can go well only if you feel confident that everything is private. The only time I would be required to…
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Overthinking. Can You Fix It?
“Overthinking,” is how many clients describe what is happening inside their heads. Rumination is what psychologists call it. Everyone does it to some degree, but when it begins to impair your life, you might look for help. What is Overthinking? Here are some common examples The worst part is how these negative thoughts seem to…
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When Your Wife Want You to go for Counselling
Your wife wants you to go for counselling. Should you go? I often have men coming to meet me for just this reason. They are usually cautious about the idea of seeing a counsellor, but in hopes of saving their marriage, they take a chance on trying. There are some possible downsides: it will cost…
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Is my Counselling Covered by Insurance?
If you have insurance that might cover counselling, check to see who and what is covered. Checking Your Policy Insurance policies differ in what they cover. They define “counselling,” “clinical counselling,” and “psychotherapy” differently. Some insurance providers allow your counsellor to bill directly; others reimburse you after you have paid the counsellor’s invoice. My best…
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Active Listening will Save You
This couple’s argument is headed for disaster. One communication skill alone could save their relationship. It’s not just any listening; it is active listening. What is Active Listening For? Active listening is powerful enough to re-direct a heated argument into a calmer discussion about what really matters. It can get you away from endless disputing…
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Find a Counsellor in Vernon BC
There are quite a few counsellors here in Vernon. Here are some of my recommendations for finding your best counsellor. Best Listings of Counsellors in Vernon Vernon Psychology Today, Vernon – The largest listing of verified counsellors in Vernon is the Psychology Today website. The “verified by psychology today” badge indicates that a counsellor’s credentials…
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Does Counselling Work ?
Quick Summary: No, counselling does not work when, Yes, Counselling works when, Sad but true, you can go to counselling and not get lasting effects. It happens a lot. Since counselling is expensive, it’s worth putting the right conditions in place If Your Counsellor Understands You. You, the client, will know this early on. You…
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Controlling Anxious Thoughts
Thoughts run away by themselves sometimes, seeming out of control, making us suffer over all the possible worst-case scenarios. Working with your own thinking is a central activity in CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). It has been tested with millions of clients by now and is known to make a big difference in anxious thinking. This…
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Effective Communication with the I-Message
When you need to express yourself about something that matters to you, and you want your listener to hear it without feeling too defensive, there is a brilliant formula for speaking up for yourself. If you take courses in communication, mediation or negotiation, this tool will be part of your classes. This is my short…
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Better Communication with Reframing
When your discussion gets locked into arguing over who is at fault, it will usually end badly. Maybe your argument is all about past hurts and regrets and fear about repeating it over and over. Reframing is a way to turn the discussion to the future, a better future. What is Reframing? Reframing is a…
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Acceptance is a Skill for Anxiety
This seems backwards at first. Anxiety is the enemy, right? Surprisingly the fastest way to reduce anxiety is to accept it. Here is how it works. This approach to anxiety comes from an evidence-based kind of counselling called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Anxiety is the Enemy? In counselling offices, clients with anxiety come seeking relief.…